September 06, 2006

Well it's been a long time since I updated..


Last Thursday my friend Janet was killed in a car accident. She left behind her very, very young 1 month old son Nathan. My heart is so heavy with sadness I can't even put it into words. Janet was my friend, though she was quite younger then me I still considered her my friend and I think she died not knowing that. The last time I saw her was July 17th, and she was heavily pregnant with Nathan. She looked beautiful, I knew without a doubt by watching her interract with my own kids that she would be a great mother. It breaks my heart that she had less then a month with her son. I won't go into details of what happened, because it's just to sad to think about and I know I won't need this blog entry to remember what happened. Tomorrow is Janet's Celebration of Life service. I really don't know if I have the strength to attend, but I will go. The kids & I went to her parents house last Saturday to bring over some sandwiches, etc and I *thought* I'd beable to give her mom another shoulder to cry on, but it ended up being me who needed the shoulder. I cried like a baby..Janet was to young, only 20 years old, to die. Last Friday was Janet's visitation and I didn't go. Mostly because I had the kids and didn't want them to have to go through that. They knew Janet too, and though I have been talking about Janet going to heaven, I don't think they quite understand. So instead of going to the visitation we went to the hospital to see her son. We were not able to see him, because we're not family and because of the kids, they couldn't go in the room because of germs, etc. So I just sat in the waiting room with the kids and talked to the nurses for awhile. Nathan was released from the hospital on Saturday to the custody of his father. I pray that his father realizes what a special boy he is raising because Nathan's mom was a GEM!!! I miss you so much Janet.

Im off to bed to try to sleep, but will probably just lay there and toss and turn.

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